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I’m so mad at macarons!

empty hollow macaron shell

Hollow and empty, just like my fragile heart after my 4th failed attempt at making macarons. Photo by Jennifer Melo

Eff you, macarons!  I mean, really. What the hell’s your problem?

I tried undermixing the batter and you went all lumpy on me. So then I might’ve slightly overmixed the batter and you got all flat and footless.

I tried two recipes, various cooking times and four attempts now. I was patient and understanding, and you cracked or got all hollow and empty inside. Don’t even get me started on your inconsistency issues. I’ve tried my best, but you’re a high-maintenance pain in my ass! And now you got me feeling all hollow and empty inside, too. It’s contagious. You see?

There. I said it.

Because I’m stubborn as a mule,  a glutton for punishment?, persistent and totally NOT a quitter, I might give you another try.  Annabelle and Rose told me not to give up on you. Yah, that’s right. The girls and I have been talking. Rose called you “tough buggers” but if you keep up this trouble with me, I’ll have other, less-than-ladylike adjectives to describe you, macarons.

Yes, we seriously need to spend some time apart.

I’m hanging up my apron now and will calm down with a glass of wine and an episode of Big Brother.

You can sit on the cooling rack and think about what you’ve done. Don’t even look at me.

 

 

 

7 Comments on I’m so mad at macarons!

  1. Amber
    January 17, 2015 at 3:38 pm (3 years ago)

    This defines my macaron-baking experiences pretty spot-on. I’m on my 5th try making them. Needless to say, more than a few obscenities have been made as a result. I’m devoted to mastering these buggers, though. So onward with the crunchy shells and delightful hours spent cleaning a disatrously dirty kitchen!

    Reply
    • Jen Melo
      March 1, 2015 at 10:27 am (3 years ago)

      Yes, I might’ve had to wash my mouth out with soap. I hope your stress ends soon and you’re able to make a great batch. Good luck, Amber! 🙂

      Reply
  2. Kinga
    January 19, 2015 at 4:31 pm (3 years ago)

    Oh my goodness. Love this. My macarons are so beautiful on the outside but hollow on the inside. I have made MORE than 3 attempts and refuse to do the Italian Meringue kind.

    Reply
    • cloclo
      February 18, 2016 at 11:39 pm (2 years ago)

      Then don’t be surprise because that’s how we make good macaroons, I’m French and that’s the only way we do them, missed only once !!

      Reply
      • Jen Melo
        February 19, 2016 at 7:41 am (2 years ago)

        I’d love to hear your tips, Clara.

        Reply
  3. Kinga
    February 16, 2015 at 3:03 pm (3 years ago)

    I’m on my millionth recipe and attempts. Going crazy. May have to take a course.

    Reply
    • Jen Melo
      March 1, 2015 at 10:26 am (3 years ago)

      I feel your pain! Good luck and I hope some of my macaron-making tips help.

      Reply

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